The Fear.

It’s been a little while here for me on the blog, and I guess that’s been for a number of reasons. It’s been pretty busy at work, meaning long days and late nights, and my days off have been pretty jam packed climbing, running and drinking far too much coffee. But, that’s not the only reason for my absence, and i’d be lying if I said it was. In all honesty I guess i’ve been a little fearful, scared of writing the wrong post, or admitting my true feelings.

Fear isn’t a stranger in my life. I’m pretty certain that I was born scared.

See every little thing has always worried me. When I was younger I feared other children, I was scared of going on playdates for fear something happened to my parents whilst I was gone. I was scared of swings, cars, strange people (okay that one was probably normal and necessary) and the way the doorbell would ring.

As I grew older my fears changed and grew with me. I fretted about being accepted, whether my friends liked me, if my grades were good enough, whether or not i’d ever get a boyfriend or if I would make it into a good university.

I carried fear with me into every accept of my life. From getting into a car, to going on a run to meeting a friend for lunch.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, fear is normal, its a natural part of human life, sometimes fear is even necessary. But for me, it was paralysing.

Fear meant I said no to everything I wanted to say yes to. Fear meant never traveling outside my little box of a comfort zone. It meant never experiencing anything. It meant I stayed far too long miserable and stuck in university, alone and suffering.

It’s taken a lot for me to learn that my fear doesn’t necessarily mean I shouldn’t do something, but it’s something that occasionally still creeps back in and threatens to take control of the wheel.

And when this happens, well I have two choices. I can crawl back into the backseat that fear has saved especially for me. I can sit back, and let fear control where I go and the limited amount of things I can do. Or, I can stand up and grab back the wheel, and face my problems head on.

For the best times have come from a place of fear and uncertainty, and I sure as hell wouldn’t be sat here typing this today if I hadn’t learned to deal with my fear.

I certainly never would have gone to australia alone

Or started climbing

Just some thursday thoughts for you all out there. Have a restful end to your week, and I promise to check back in more regularly!

xxx

Weekday adventures, running and cake.

The way my work schedule currently sits means that Wednsedays and Thursdays are essentially my weekend. To be honest, I really don’t care that I work every weekend, for me weekends are too crowded, busy and just stressful, especially here in a tourist area like the lakes. To put it bluntly you just can’t get shit done on a weekend.

So, Andy and I have our own little weekend routine where we usually hit up the climbing centre on a Wednesday, and just have a little play in the boulder rooms and then do a few longer routes in the main room at Kendal wall. As climbing centres go I like it a lot, the upstairs bouldering room is actually pretty spot on and it’s got some really nice varied routes and styles to try out. As for the main room, I like it, I do, but I have to say I wish they had a little more stuff you could top rope, as i’m currently trying to push my grade and just don’t exactly feel comfortable having to lead myself up a route I don’t feel confident on. I know I need to get better at dealing with my fear, but baby steps, i’ve stopped crying on the wall so that counts for something….;)

Anyway, that leaves Thursday as adventure day! The whole reason we moved here was just to see more, do more and push ourselves. I honestly am a firm believer that the greatest things come from being outside your comfort zone.

With this in mind we’ve decided to get into trail/fell running. Here in the lakes fell running is a BIG deal. Like seriously.

Essentially fell running (for those that don’t know) is hurtling yourself up and down hills, mountains and generally questionable terrain. Scary. But also strangely fun…

So today we decided to head up loughrigg fell, a pretty iconic and nice little intro route situated at the foot of the town Ambleside, where me and Andy both currently work.

The run itself was really awesome, think muddy trails and boggy grass leading to a summit with some of the most breathtaking views of mountains ridges and lakes.

Not my picture as I didn’t take my phone with me running

I swear the lakes never fail to make my heart sing.

I spent my childhood running. No really. Whilst most kids my age were out getting drunk at parties I was asleep by 8pm resting before a big race the next day. I spent countless evenings pounding pavements with my fellow training buddies and getting yelled split times by competitive coaches. Running reminds me of some of my happiest times, so getting back into a sport I’m so passionate about, and doing it with my favourite human (yeah Andy that is you) makes my heart so so happy.

Okay i’m going to stop gushing now as i’m probably boring everyone to death.

Anyway, after our run we were pretty hungry and not quite ready to go home so we drove over to Grasmere for coffee and cake. We wanted to check out Greens cafe and Bistro, but it was closed. January/February time in the lakes means a lot of small businesses are closed until things pick back up again in spring. So, we headed over to Heidi’s. It’s a place we’ve been to a couple times now, the coffee is pretty average and nothing to go crazy over, but the cakes are always good and generously portioned. We split a carrot cake and honeycomb crunch slice. It was needed.

The rest of the day was spent reading (running free by Richard Askwith, a GREAT read!!!) and deciding on a film to watch together tonight. We settled on the ‘Age of Adaline’. Has anyone seen it, is it any good?? We are really in need of some good film suggestions, so feel free to comment below of any you know, generally of the indie, cute, life affirming type genre (is that even a thing?)

All in all it’s been a pretty blissful day and i’m feeling pretty thankful, maybe its the endorphins, but I just feel at peace as cheesy as that all sounds.

xxx

 

Those magic moments.

So it’s been a bit of a week. Between Andy and then subsequently I getting sick, the last few days were a bit of a challenge, and we were pretty much taking it in turns to hand each other tissues and moping about how much being ill sucks.Because let’s face it, it really really does.

However, this morning we woke up on our day off both feeling a little more energetic and productive and so decided to get something done with the day. The weather outside was gorgeous too. The last few weeks here in the lakes have been pretty miserable and rainy, so to wake up to nothing but blue skies and sunshine was really a much needed change. Winter can be pretty dreary here.

So, we set our sites on ‘bram cragg’, it’s meant to have some of the best and only sport climbing routes in the Lake District, which really suits me, as sport means that I can lead some of the climbs too.

However, upon reaching the cragg we both realised that we just weren’t quite up to it. Whilst it may have been sunny, it was absolutely freezing, and the minute you touched the rock your hands pretty much turned blue, not ideal for feeling confident on a route. It sounds a tad wimpy I know, but climbing in that bone chilling type of cold really isn’t fun, especially as you spend long periods time on the ground belaying your partner or figuring out which route is which.

So, in the end we decided to cut our losses and head to the nearby town of Keswick.

I’m not gonna lie here, but having plans change so suddenly always throws me off a little, i’m heaps better at dealing with that sort of change now than I was previously, but it still takes a moment or two for me to adjust and get in the headset that it’s okay to do something different and go off route. Honestly, some of the best things i’ve done have been from changing my plans last minute.

That was kind of how today turned out too.

We’d never been to Keswick before, but man oh man is it an awesome place. Picture a quaint english town, cobbled streets and cute clock tower all sat nestled in between huge mountain ranges. Oh, and to top it all off a stunning lake right in the midst of it all.

Yeah, Keswick rocks.

It’s also got a bunch of cute coffee shops and all the outdoor stores you could ever want. So, after arriving we settled in the cafe ‘Java’ for a couple coffees and a cake which did not disappoint. We also may or may not have ended up in a second cafe a mere hour later for yet another coffee..what can I say, coffee is literally my life. I even ended up finally getting myself a new pair of running shoes, and can I just say I am so unbelievably happy and excited and ahhhhh. May have had a cheeky run to test the bad boys out this evening too.

So, all in all a pretty good day i’d say.

Something I kind of wanted to highlight in this post, is not necessarily the day I had (although it was seriously awesome) but a feeling I got on the way home in the car. The drive back was filled with mountains, a setting sun and some great music playing in the background and I just had one of those moments of feeling grateful. I know it’s all too easy for me to lost sight of the bigger picture sometimes. I get stressed, I get tired, I worry about money too much, I worry about finding myself a career, I get scared about my relationship sometimes too. That’s life, we all have our concerns, triggers, stressors, each one personal to us. But, in that moment I remembered just how lucky I am to be here, in this place, right now.

After all, I get to live in a beautiful area that many are envious of, I have a job doing something I enjoy where I can come home and not worry, I have a boyfriend who for the first time gets every part of me and shares my dreams, I have friends who support me in all my weird and crazy ventures and two parents who would do anything for me.

But, I’ve also fought hard to create a life like this, and by all means it’s not been easy. I’ve had to literally rip myself to pieces and build myself up again bit by bit. And it’s been painful and slow and terrifying. But, it’s paid off. And I am so beyond grateful for this life I have.

So I know this post has taken a little bit of a deep turn here, but I always want to keep my writing honest and in alignment with what I feel and who I am. And, I guess what I want to say to you guys out there (if anyone is even reading this at all) is to not lose sight, we all have something to be grateful for. And even if you’re not exactly where you want to be, know that you can get there, I promise. Baby steps.

 

xxxx

 

 

Making the most of it: the 10 things I want to do whilst in the Lakes.

I’ve always been a bit lazy when it comes to setting and then attaining goals, I get easily distracted, have little patience and let’s just face it, life gets in the way.

But, one of the main reasons I chose to move to the Lake District was to discover more, explore more and just all in all do more. I was instantly drawn to the outdoorsy feel to the area – everyone here does something, whether that be climbing, mountaineering, biking, paddling, you name it the lakes have it.

Having been born and raised in the suburban streets of London (slightly cringing at this wording, as it makes it all sound way too edgy….it wasn’t), I always craved the outdoors. Actual green fields that rolled on for days, mountainscapes and wide open lakes, were just never things I found in the city, and consequently I never quite felt at home there.

With this in mind, I am determined to make the most of my time here, as I have no idea how long i’ll stay, currently i’m thinking anything from 6 months to a year, but things could change. So, I decided to compile a list of all the things I want to do, see and experience whilst i’m here, and hopefully once my time is up i’ll be able to look back and see what I managed to accomplish.

Here goes:

1.Go up Scafell Pike, after all it is England’s tallest mountain, I feel it would be a shame to actually live in the area this mountain looms over and cease to ever experience it, ya know?

2.Wild camp. A lot. Okay so it is currently hardly the season for wild camping here with the weather being pretty much every shade of gloomy, and i’ve never been one to really relish sitting in a soggy tent, watching the clouds pelt it down all around me. But, once summer rolls around and the temperatures start to stop feeling so frosty, then i’m definitely down for just parking up by a lake and setting up camp for a night or two.

3. Climb outside more. Again this one is also a little more weather dependent, but I really want to get more experience climbing on actual rock. I’ve only been climbing a few months since Andy introduced me to it, but i’ve definitely got the bug a little. Heights have always been one of my biggest fears, and I like that slowly but surely I’m starting to be less overwhelmed by them, climbing outdoors is definitely a way to help overcome this all a little more, as well as get to see some seriously breathtaking views.

4.Go to Keswick Mountain Festival. It takes place in June time and basically is a giant celebration of climbing and mountaineering, with a bunch of stalls, talks and a mini film festival dedicated to these topics. It’s meant to be a real event and is pretty hyped up so I feel I don’t want to miss out on this one.

5.Get more into trail running. I’ve always been a road runner, again growing up in suburbia does that to you, so finally being in an area with so much to offer in terms of scenery I really want to get more into trail running and experience what’s around me a lot more.

6.Related to my last point, improve my map reading skills. Okay so i’m kinda embarrassed to admit this one, but when it comes to reading maps…I suck. Poor Andy has done pretty good and taught me the basics, but I still lack the confidence to just get out there, map in hand and make up my own routes. This is something I definitely need to overcome, as it holds me back when it comes to planning runs or walks, as i’m reluctant to try out new routes.

7.Save. So this is directly related to moving to the lakes, but I feel its something I definitely need to go and do more of. Spending money on things I don’t need really has to stop if I plan to have more adventures further afield in the future.

8.Spend evenings doing interesting things. So I have a horrible habit. Oftentimes after coming home from work and cooking dinner I end up collapsing on my bed and watching Netflix to my hearts content. Now there is nothing wrong with that at all, but sometimes I can’t help but feel that as much as I love grandma life, I could occasionally try and do something interesting with my evenings. The town we live has an arts centre that is always putting on shows and gigs in the evenings and we’ve decided to start going to these shindigs when we can, broaden our horizons and so on.

9.Visit as many towns in the lakes as I possibly can. Seriously, I want to see it all!

10.Get involved in the local community. As cliche as it may sound, there is an overwhelming sense of community in the town in which we live and the surrounding area, and having lacked that growing up, I would love to feel a part of it all. Whether that be by taking part in town events or joining a club here, either way I want to meet and get to know the people in my area.

So that’s it, for now anyway! Here’s to the next few months of hopefully getting stuff done!

 

xxx

 

 

Mountain day: Blencathra and sharp edge.

So i’m currently a little behind here, but having just started back up on the blogging, I really want to include some of my adventures and bigger days out, and now seeing as the weather has taken a turn for the worst (think horrible drizzly rain and dark gloomy clouds), that means that currently, i’m spending a lot less time outdoors. Sucks…I know.

But, one of the main motivations for moving to the Lake District was mine and the boyfriend’s (Andy’s) love for the mountains. And when I say love, I mean more like intense fascination and adoration. In fact, we both pretty much see mountains as our favourite landscape. And along with that comes an intense and inexplicable desire to be on top of them.

Cue the Lake district, home to some of the most stunning (and few) mountain ranges in England, alongside being the home to the tallest mountain (Scafell Pike) you can find in our little, fairly flat country. Alongside this, expect to find some stunning lakes, cute little cobble stoned villages and some of the most outdoorsy people you will ever meet. Afterall, the lakes pretty much invented fell running.

Moving here seemed pretty much inevitable for us then. And to be honest I will probably dedicate a future post to just how awesome the Lake district is, but for now back to the point of this post.

So, me and Andy found ourself a few weeks back with a free day on our hands, where for once the weather seemed to be playing ball. There was literally not a single cloud in the sky, and for January it was pretty balmy and distinctly un-snowy. Consequently, a mountain day seemed inevitable and we set our sights on Blencathra.

Blencathra all in all is a fairly unassuming mountain, set literally right behind a busy road leading to Keswick (what some might consider the capital of the lakes), honestly you could drive past and barely know it was there.

But, we had our sights set on it, as it has a slightly more interesting way to get up it than the usual generic, curving tourist path – a little grade 1 scramble known as ‘sharp edge’.

Sharp edge is essentially a ridge walk leading up the summit, classified as a grade 1 scramble, as occasionally the use of hands or feet are required to manoeuvre yourself along the path. It’s pretty easy going, although you can make it as hard or easy as you want by choosing different lines along it. The only thing that might put people off is how exposed it is, but even then there is still a fairly distinguished path along it and it’s pretty touristy, so nothing too crazy.

Despite my reservations (think fear of heights) I actually really enjoyed sharp edge, it was easy enough that you don’t become overwhelmed by fear, but also interesting enough to keep you thinking too. And once we finished the scramble, we felt obliged to take a typical, cutesy couple photo at the top.

Honestly, I would say sharp edge is what really makes Blencathra a little more interesting, as the summit itself was fairly, and I hate to say it, missable. And honestly I really dislike saying that, because nature is always stunning, I just more mean that compared to other mountains in the area, it’s definitely a little less breathtaking. But hey, a mountain is a mountain and it’s still an awesome feeling to be stood at the top of one.

All in all it was a pretty fun day out, even if we got a little lost on the way down and ended up waddling down an incredibly steep, poo infested field. That bit was not so great.

Another day off well spent:)

 

xxx

 

 

Introductions.

Starting a blog isn’t exactly a foreign concept for me, it’s something i’ve dabbled in from time time, starting off enthusiastically before sadly deleting any efforts I may have made.

The truth is, I was never quite ready to blog about the things I truly wanted to discuss, and I wasn’t quite at a point where I was living authentically or in line with the person I wanted to be.

But, a year on from my previous efforts and a lot has changed. I am finally at a place where I am living a life in line with who I have accepted I am. This life may not be glamorous, it may not always be filled with adventures or incredible stories. But, it is a life I am content with. In fact, scratch that, it is indeed a life I am extremely happy with, a life I have carefully cultivated, full of the things and people I love.

But, before I get ahead of myself I guess I should start by introducing the very basics of who I am…

My name is Amy (in case you hadn’t already guessed..), I am 21 years old and have just moved up to live in the Lake District, England, for a bit. I am a cat loving, coffee fanatic and mountain lover. I strongly dislike strawberries, crowds and grumpy people.

If you’re the type of person who would rather spend a Saturday night cuddled up in bed with tea and a good book, than my guess is you might just like this blog, and perhaps you should give it a chance…. not trying to sell myself here at all am I….

If not then that’s cool, I can’t expect to be everyone’s cup of tea coffee, and I respect your decision to politely skip on over to someone a tad more exciting than me.

If you’re still interested however than you can expect to see upcoming blogposts all about life in the small towns surrounding english mountains, coffee ramblings, climbing and walking adventures and my general life musings on how I came to be where I currently am now.

Moreover though, I know this blog is going to act as a way for me to just let it all out, because lets be real, as beautiful as life is, it’s also damn messy sometimes. And I want to include it all, the good, the bad and the downright ugly.

for now though I will end these introductions before I get too ahead of myself,

sending love x