Do you guys believe in fate? Or the idea that everything happens for a reason? I think i’m pretty conflicted on this subject. On the one hand I don’t believe that we are powerless, that we just walk through a life that has already been planned out for us. However, I do feel like certain things happen to us so that we can learn from them.
Take my current situation. After being diagnosed with lyme’s disease, I continued to work, exercise and remain pretty darn busy despite feeling like poop. Approximately a week later I injured my hand, got surgery and strict advice to lay off work and all forms of exercise until my stitches are removed.
Life is funny eh? It’s almost as if my body just shut down, curled up and refused to continue. A bit like when Andy forgets to feed me on a long walk 😉
I’ll be the first to admit that I like to keep busy, to make my plate a little too full at times, but here I think the real reason I was forced to stop for a moment was just to take a breather and figure out what next.
Deep down I think i’ve been a little bit too caught up in the big stressors in life: jobs, houses, taxes, social obligations….I could go on for days. To put it bluntly, I became too focused on finishing up the story of my life and tying up any loose ends, as if there were some sort of time constraint on the whole thing. As if I had to get everything sorted, right now.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love being settled in a place. I love having a house I call home. I love knowing where to grab my morning coffee and the best place to eat some cake.
But, at the same time I know deep down that I have a sense of restlessness kicking in. A part of me burning to pack all my things up and take off on a new adventure. See back when I quit school, I made a promise myself to say yes more. To listen to my gut and take off on any new adventure my heart desires (within reason, calm down mum).
So where does that leave me now?
Well I love the lake district, its become home for me in a way I never could have imagined. But, I know i’m not ready to give up traveling altogether. Ultimately I just really like being a nomad, knowing that I can pack all my things up into one tiny bag and see where the road takes me, who i’ll meet and the places i’ll see. Traveling has always helped me figure things out for myself, and right now there is still so much left for me to get into.
I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up, where I want to live or even what type of person I want to be.
It’s all wide open.
But, I know the road can help me with that. Because as I tick each destination off my list I grow closer to my passions, to my ideals, to the exact kind of life I want to lead.
For now though I think i’ll plan to stay here till September or October. Missing summer in the lakes would definitely be a huge regret of mine, plus your girl really needs to save a lot more dollar before she can think of taking a new trip.
I’m not really sure what my exact point to this post was (sorry i’m probably not supposed to admit that whoops!). But, I guess it’s that i’m not done. The me you get here isn’t the finished article or the end product. My journey is still very much ongoing, and i’m most definitely figuring it all out!
sending love and hugs
as always all thoughts are welcome:)