Hello, hello my lovely people, I hope your Friday has been good and not too stressful! I actually have my first ever weekend off, and I plan on resting up, eating lots of good food and generally just catching up on lost time before I start my new job on Monday.
When I started this blog, I didn’t exactly have much of a plan for it, but simply decided to just write and see what happened and where my thoughts took me (sums up my life in general these days). With this in mind, theres something i’ve been thinking a lot about lately – happiness.
There’s been times recently i’ve just caught myself smiling, giddy or generally just filled with positive thoughts and energy. I can honestly say that hand on heart I am happy. I am happy with the life I have created, i’m happy with what i’m doing and where I am.
Now that’s not to say that that is always the case. I have bad days, times where things don’t go right, or negative thoughts worry and stress me out. The difference is that now these days are few and far between. And that the good definitely outweighs the bad.
But it wasn’t always like this.
In fact, I spent a lot of time being so unhappy, that darkness and gloom became my norm, and I couldn’t see a way out.
So what changed?
I think the single most important thing that changed was my mindset. I stopped seeing myself as simply along for the ride, victim to the cards played out to me. Instead, I finally took control, and realised that my life was exactly that…mine. Something special and sacred to me, something that I could take charge of and make whatever I wanted out of it.
When this shift in mindset happened it was like a huge weight had been lifted, and I took a look around me and at my current situation and realised I needed out. See, I always thought that if I went to school got good grades, went to uni then got myself a good office job and a nice husband I would be sat right on top of that happiness mountain. But it just hadn’t been like that at all. I had hated school, university left me even more depressed, and the boyfriend I had at the time that was so perfect on paper just wasn’t doing it for me.
So, I made some very tough decisions in a matter of minutes. I dropped out of university, I moved back home with my parents and got a job to start saving money so that I could travel and see more of the world.
People thought I was nuts, but really I was just taking ownership of myself, of my life. I stopped doing what I thought I should do, in favour of what I wanted to do, and finally started listening to my gut.
Alongside this new mindset I cultivated a few little rituals to help me along my way:
- I stopped talking to negative people who made me feel bad
- I started focusing on the people who made me feel good, and who had my genuine best interests at heart
- I started eating what I wanted, both food that nourished me and food that fed my soul too
- I never skipped breakfast again (no food in the a.m makes for a hangry amy!!!)
- I read blogs and listened to podcasts which affirmed my new found life
- I started to do things alone and learned that I love my own company
- I made time for myself each day to do something I loved
- I spent more time getting to know my mum and dad as people rather than just parents
- I stopped buying useless crap that I didn’t need (mostly clothes that I didn’t even feel comfortable in)
- I started planning for a future
Now don’t get me wrong, i’m not writing this post from a superior perspective or a gloat-y “look at me i’m so happy and awesome” type of way. Because I am by no means perfect, nor should I ever want you to think that there is only one type of way to live your life, because there’s not. I am simply wanting to share my experiences and to let you know that if you feel stuck or lost, that there is a way out, but it has to come from you.
Deciding to take control was the hardest and easiest desicion I ever made all rolled into one. But I am so glad I did. So, so glad.
Have a wonderful evening my loves xxx